song in my head: love angel
this whole blogdrive thing is startin to piss me off lolss cuss of the html ..
--- how can everything be so confusing .... i jus make things alot more
complicated fer myself ... but lately realization has been coming to me ..
baby im a victim of circumstance
my worse problem are my
fears ..... i have a fear of consequences, and
a fear of bad judgement ... to be honest... my judgement is not one of the
best although some of you know that already ... even so, at least my
judgement has not cause anything diabolical or anything of that sort that
would have cause me great suffering or nething of such . a little confusing?
well to explain it so that it may be jus a little more clear ... with me, at most
times ive already dug a hole for myself .. a hole waitin for me to dive right in
and put myself into some big mess but most of the time there was something
that would move me from the dangerous path and put me into , not a
right path
but a path with less trouble n obstacles... ive been blind to the fact of how many
problems ive caused myself because so many things were my fault ... and yet
i had my good luck charms that would make the trip experience a lil less
turbulence and sometimes even bring some good out of it . my greatest fear is
that everything will come back 2x as bad .... im afraid that the judgement will
be left up to me only one day and i fear that my knowledge n integrity used to
make my judgement wont be good enough at the end .
my greatest fear is
that i will cause my own destruction . n its not a sort of sympathy trick to get
people to pity me or whatever... i know it can happen and i know that it will if im
left alone .. and that somehow i lose my "lucky charms" .... but right now thats
not the case ... and this is dedicated to all my
lucky charms ...
marylle: eyy gurl ... we've come along way and i am truly grateful to know you .
i dont know on what terms we are on right now, but i h0pe we're not fading away
or anything like that ... im grateful for the way u were able to jus smack some
common sense to me . sometimes even litteraly xP ... u were always watchin out
for me and acted like a bigger sister to me even though im the older one. .. i
guess i didn't understand it before but i do now and i truly appreciate how u got
the message to me and set me on the right track even if it wasnt in the most
pleasant of ways ... i was so naive back in my days but im workin on that .. i truly
love you like a sister .. the MPers .. hehe LLE
camela: ahh ella-nina ... the one who sort of infected me on this thing hehe .. girl
uve supported me no matter what and didn't give me the cold shoulder when i
couldn't see the things i was blind to .... somehow u would always understand me
even in my most weirdest times ... weirdest is that even a word ? there was always
a simple understanding between us that even if we felt like we didn't know each
other anymore there would always be that simple understanding that would make
us understand that something was going on ... im glad that you're able to tell me
things that are going on with you and im glad that u trust me with those things. i
appreciate how you would never let one single person come between us no matter
who it was or what they did ... ella nina + miam0r
sapna: i dont think i know anyone stronger than you ... you've been through so
much on your own i cant even compare ... and yet you've always had that gift of
wanting to help others ... and other people knew u had something special ... ure
always the one people love going to to get some sort of help or advice .. cuss
there's that something about you .... no matter what u can't resist lending a
helping hand .... it amazes me when i think back and realize that your "aura" has
always been right ... it's like u have a different sort of seeing that is amazing and
makes plain sense at the same time when you take a second look ... you never
got mad at me and always had the strongest patience for my incredulity ...
-
mica ahh girl we alwaiis have good times together .. ure the :ahem:: side of me
we're alwaiis like mini m n m's haha so full of energy most of the time ... you
alwaiis new how to put a smile on my face even if it had to be in the weirdest
way possible lolss thanx fer helpin me keep my head up ...
angela n kelly - mica n u guyss become my mak .. lolss ... angela .. i dunno how
it happened but we jus clicked n became friends ... you're my creative hopeless
romantic sidee ... and you're really nicee .. thas wha i like bout u ... in the most
simplest way you're in a sort of cheery state lolss .. sort of jus simple happy-like ..
lolss .. ahh kelly my "cynical" sidee ... wow its so funny when we're both out of it
... i can never expect whas gonna happen next with you .. well except those times
when we both bring in our cynical sides ... ehh then its an all-out sarcastic war heh
lolss im glad ure there to guide me in my times of zoning out .. especially in
computer class lolss
all the new people ive met - all i can say is wow .. uve been so nicee to me
and have been such a great help whenever u could beee ... hhee smiLez =]
all of you ...... thank you so much .... there are some things u can never
forget .. i know i wont forget you guyss
